We’ve stepped down for a while now, and over the past year I’ve seen myself change a lot, not only due to the leadership journey but also JC in general.
On the one hand, I think I’ve settled into the rigour of the JC curriculum quite nicely, my Promo’s and MBT’s results hold testament to that. Maintaining at least a C in all my H2s, not too shabby. My PW got a B, so that’s kinda a no for a perfect score already. Not that I was aiming for 90, but that would have been nice. Anyway, I’m actually writing this in preparation for my MYEs. Been losing steam and motivation lately, maybe I just need a break. Maybe I need to revise my studying style. Maybe I’m just tired.
On the other, I think I’ve failed as house captain. Honestly, I tried to the best of my ability. I don’t regret any of my decisions I have made in this position, nor do I think there was anything else I could have done. I did what I can with what I had. And it was bad. I set out wanting to make Phobos a family. I didn’t do so. I look to other houses’ progress throughout this past one year under my fellow house captains and I am humbled. So so so humbled. If Phobos turned out half as bonded as some of the other houses, half as successful, half as fun, I would be satisfied. Maybe it’s the house, I got dealt a bad hand and I was forced to play it. Maybe its the player that sucks at the game. Either way, what’s done’s done.
I also got in and out of my first relationship with a girl. It was short-lived, and I think it was really circumstances that got in the way. Maybe it was rushed, I don’t know. But as the Chinese saying goes, 经一事，长一智. Whatever it is, I’m glad it happened and I hope she thinks the same to this day.
There’s still a good 4/5 months left of this JC journey. I hope its gonna be good.